Mary King

I was the first of six children raised in Melbourne. By the age of 22 I'd qualified in pharmacy & married my teenage sweetheart. We had 5 children under 6. Our marriage looked so ideal that my parents didn't pray for us, instead they prayed for my brother and his wife who were often fighting. (You'll be glad to know the prayer worked. Their relationship is still strong.)

When my marriage broke up the dream I'd been living turned into a nightmare.

I experienced a death, only it seemed worse because he was still alive.

I felt dismay as my children found out everything wasn't as I'd led them to believe.

I felt isolation, as my friends no longer included me because I was single again.

I became full of self-doubt. The voice in my head that criticized me told me I'd failed. I was in a very negative frame of mind.

A mentor/friend suggested I see my marriage breakdown as a privilege. I remember saying: "A privilege? All this pain and suffering is a privilege?"

I decided to take her advice. I'm committed to a process of consciousness and see it as a lifelong journey.

As a pharmacist I made pills & tablets, ointments & creams, mixtures and suppositories. I believed illness was normal. I wish you could have seen me. I had sore knee, sore back, sore throat, tennis elbow, cough, sinus problems, nausea, bleeding gums, insomnia, indigestion, depression, retention of fluid, ring worm, tinea, hypoglycaemia, headache, pain, vomiting, diarrhoea, constipation and haemorrhoids. I could go on. I had bunion, infection, itch, rash, mouth ulcer, and varicose vein. I could go on. Arthritis, conjunctivitis, cystitis, laryngitis, mastitis & vaginitis. I could go on ... but I won't.

I used antacids, antibacterials, antibiotics, anti-emetics, antifungals, antihistamines, anti-inflammatories, antipyretics and ... antiperspirants. Then I found the antidote... Today I believe illness is a teacher. I look for what I need to learn, what behaviour I need to change and what is the message the illness or the disease is asking me to understand

When I decided to accept what happened to me and value my experiences I had the opportunity to change my life. I took one step at a time and with each step, forward or backward, I gave myself a kiss, or I gave myself a hug, and I forgave myself for the things I didn't like about myself. I moved forward getting better and better with each passing day. I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. Time is a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. Old age is definitely no place for wimps. Although, there is one good thing about getting old, wrinkles don't hurt. The older you get, it's frustrating, when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. Forget the health food, I need all the preservatives I can get.

I learned about affirmations, statements that with repetition become true. I said heaps of them and became very positive like Pollyanna, the girl who played the 'glad' game. I was glad I had challenges because I knew what it felt like. I turned every negative thought into three positive thoughts. Then I noticed I had many negative people around me. I didn't like it.

I went in to business in pharmacy with a partner who was as negative as I was positive. We drove each other mad. I couldn't stand his pessimism and someone as positive as I, can upset you almost as much as someone who is totally negative.

In 1987 I discovered Voice Dialogue, a therapeutic tool to separate your inner voices.

It was a life changing experience. I learned to honor my negativity. I learned to complain. It made me more real. The Greeks have a good way of putting it. We need to honor all the Gods and Goddesses. We don't have to build the same size shrine to each of the Gods but we need to build a little shrine to all the Gods. What I mean by this is that while I had a huge shrine to the God of positivity I also needed to build a little shrine to the God of negativity, We can't always be 'up' sometimes we need to be 'down'. The energy needs a balance.

I loved the freedom to choose to be positive or negative from a new space, than having to be always positive or always negative as before.

My relationship with my business partner dissolved and he moved out of my life.

I wrote the books The Intuitive Voice and The Patriarchal Voice to help myself. As I wrote them I learned heaps. You've heard the edict - we teach what we most need to learn. Well that's me. I'm still learning. When I stop learning I'll be floating in space as cosmic dust. Even then I expect I'll be researching another unconscious voice.